420 ftw
I just made out with a guy for $7.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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