They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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