omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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