I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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