How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I want to fling myself into the sun
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
