So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Randomize
