I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize