just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
