VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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