he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
