how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Sext me about skeletons
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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