I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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