garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
