Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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