Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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