I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
