i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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