He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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