so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
