Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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