It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
