The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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