the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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