i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
the raccoons are back...
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