I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
