i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
You're earring is so big in my mouth
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
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