So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize