Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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