You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Less talking, more tequila
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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