I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
