the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
