Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize