my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize