Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
