What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
