i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
you made out with another girl for some wings
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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