Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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