honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
So squirting runs in the family.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
