Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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