I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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