I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
