I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
