if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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