That's intense
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
