your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize