omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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