hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
