She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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