so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
