They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
