Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
