I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
