is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
