I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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