I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
