Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize