what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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