you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
