And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
