don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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