i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
