is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
My ass is underappreciated
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
