Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
