I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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