'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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