i just had sex bonerless
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
