i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
